The "Truth" about the Christian Peacemaker Teams!

Doug Pritchard, the co-director of the Christian Peacemaker Teams, said, "We believe that the illegal occupation of Iraq by Multinational Forces is the root cause of the insecurity which led to this kidnapping and so much pain and suffering in Iraq." He has called for coalition forces to leave the country.

We have done some thinking. We have found the truth behind these facades.

This "Christian Peacemaker Teams" organization is not dedicated to peace, Christianity, or anything good. In fact, Mr. Pritchard must be an ordained priest of Satan. A high priest even. We would not be surprised if he is the Satanic Pope, Vicar of Satan, et cetera. This organization must have been founded to exacerbate and perpetuate suffering and violence, and must have turned their vile gaze to Iraq for some reason or another. They sent teams there, intentionally vulnerable, to be kidnapped in order to cause more chaos, most likely hoping for a violent confrontation between coalition forces and insurrectionary forces.

Their call for the coalition forces to leave Iraq is part of their plan. As any sane human being can tell, if the coalition forces leave without properly preparing and training Iraqi forces to manage the state, Iraq will swiftly descend into bloody civil wars.

We do not doubt that their consternation at Iraq's invasion is genuine. After all, there was far more suffering, chaos, violence, bloodshed, insecurity, instability, oppression, and tyranny with Saddam in power. They must be quite upset that he is no longer in power.

This must be the truth. Surely no human is really so brainless as to genuinely believe that toppling Saddam was a bad thing, that liberating Iraq was a bad thing, or that the hasty withdrawal of coalition forces will be a very, very, very bad thing indeed. Such idiocity is impossible. No, these "Christian peacemakers" must be Satanic warmongerers (or violence-mongerers, to be more accurate) in reality. What else can be plausible?

inna naHnu-l-a'lam. (Please note: This was satire. The Christian Peacemaker Teams are idiotic beyond words can express. Indeed.)